Underlying truth
by dyedredinblood
Summary: anyone ever wonder what the reason behind matt's goggles are. well here is my take on it. and who ever said there only was one. Oneshot


I do not own death not or any of the characters within it. Especially not matt or should I say mail though he is my favorite by far. Any way on with the story.

Underlying Truth

Some people ask me why am I always wearing goggles (orange tinted of course). I rarely give them an answer but if I do It usually something like "Because I feel like it" or "I didn't know there was a law against it." but if I don't feel like dealing with them I usually ignore them and walk away. I truthfully don't care what any one thinks of me but after a while it got annoying any friend I ever tried to have (which weren't a lot) would always ask me that same question some even tried to persuade or force me to take them off. I just stormed off though not giving them the chance.

The reason I usually like to stay inside away from other people away from the real world is because of this reason. I wish they would just leave me alone and mind their own damn business but of course they don't they never do. They are to caught up on trying to act and be normal but who knows what normal is? And is there even an answer to this question? Normal I don't think even truly exist. Just another state of mind but who says this is such a bad thing. For if there were such a thing as being normal life would be no fun. All people have their differences just got to learn to live with them that is all.

Yet even I know this is just a fairy tale and I stopped believing in most years ago I suppose it's time to give up on this one as well, but even still I think I'll try and answer that question I avoided so many times before. There are actually a couple of different reasons I like to sport these goggles here on my face.

The first would be the simplest and most logical reason out of the bunch and that would be that I have an eye condition called 'photophobia' I suppose it's quite a severe case I got to. That's why I make sure not to take them off or lose them once I step outside the boundaries of my room , which almost always has the lights off and the TV on with me sitting in front of it. I remember all to well of my first experience of the pain that the goggles had left or exposed me to more like it when they were taken off. I remember the pain very vividly it was almost enough to make me black out or maybe I did I can't really remember much after that. All I know was there was an almost blinding light which made a way for an extreme headache I couldn't feel or tell much after that.

The second reason would be just because it makes me feel secure like I am still at home even though I know I am not I never will be, never again anyway. I guess the reason is because they are all I have left to remind me of mom. They were the last thing that mom had ever bought for me being that a few days or a week later. She had died ,was murdered, more like it I guess. By my own father too can you believe it I know I can, but that probably because I remember what he was like, he would beat me and mom quite often or at least when he was drunk off his ass, which was most of the time anyway. So, you get my point. I'm not sure if he meant to kill her or if he even knew what he was doing at the time, but it happened right in front of my eyes.

His reason for doing it simple she was trying to leave with all the money in tow, and when my dad, no, that man. When that man had caught sight of this he had confronted her about it she tried to deny the whole thing but of course it was true so she came out and told him. Yelled it more like it she had finally stood up to him and I was proud of her even though this cost her life. I suppose it was worth it in her eyes. I remember she had sent me up stairs but with all the screaming I eventually started back down to see what the problem was and what I saw could be said to be one of the worst moments of my life. My mom had tears running down he face backing away from him just slightly if any thing the reason was unknown to me at the time for a wall was blocking my view, but it all became clear when I saw my da_… that man's shadow and what it seemed to be holding at the time it looked oddly familiar to that of a kitchen knife in fact it was. I could tell as he moved closer to her and out from behind the other side of the wall and in front of the open door way. What happened next I could never explain it was to terrifying but I do remember my mom finally noticing me she turned to look as the attacker drew ever closer holding the said weapon above his head as though he was going to swing it down. I could see her tear filled face as she called out my name. It sounded so pained so worried but not for herself but for me. Then he stalked even closer and brought it down but before it even made contact just right before actually that is where my memory fails me that's all I can remember of that night or maybe all I wish to remember for the rest was to traumatizing for a young child made new orphan to handle. Well that's all I have on that subject.

The next and last one is probably the most illogical out of the bunch. Yet, I feel it is quite an easy concept to grasp. Even though most people or at least the one's I try to tell don't ever seem to get it. This specific reason is just that I fear if I have them off people will see right through me. Right through all the hidden emotions and pain I have long since buried. Also I heard somewhere ,probably from a book or something, that the eyes are the windows to a person soul, and in which case I have to firmly agree. The eyes can tell it all. They can tell anyone who's smart enough to listen that you are lying or hiding something from them. They will be able to see right through you and I would also have to believe that the eyes are the most innocent part of any human being. For they will feel bad for when you lie and they won't try to hide that fact.

It's as simple as that and for that alone along with the two other reasons I have explained do I feel the need to hid and keep away my eyes though my mom always did tell me I had beautiful green eyes just like the man that had murdered her had when they first met. She said it was one of the sole reasons she had decided to give him even a slight chance, and look how well that turned out for her. Maybe with in those last few sentences lie an underlying truth for the real reason I decide to keep my eyes away from anyone who tries to get close enough to say them. Maybe or maybe not I will never tell.

Oh and one last thing have you ever noticed my unique wardrobe before well there is a perfect reason for that as well it was to take away the fact of the goggles make them less noticeable per say.


End file.
